<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[A Friendly Shoulder]]></title><description><![CDATA[Transformational couples retreats for deep healing, reconnection, and growth. Led by Dr. C. Stankiewicz and holistic health specialist A. Rose]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Tue, 29 Sep 2026 23:45:12 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/ru/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Forget the Red Flags - Ask Them to Tell You the Story of Their Last Three Relationships]]></title><description><![CDATA[Dating culture has become obsessed with flags. Red flags. Green flags. Beige flags. Lists of behaviors supposedly capable of telling us whether someone will be a good partner before we've even finished the appetizer. I think there is a considerably more interesting source of information sitting right in front of us: the person's relationship history, and especially the way they understand it. I'm not suggesting that somebody with several failed relationships is defective, that casual sex...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/forget-the-red-flags-ask-them-to-tell-you-the-story-of-their-last-three-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aba78e504f6d237e85250cc</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2026 14:30:31 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_1a6fc845fbc84a5f8aad48e45a268bad~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[That is Not Who You Are]]></title><description><![CDATA["That is just who I am." We have all said it. We have all heard it. And in reality, it is one of the laziest sentences in the human language. Here is why. That is not who you are. That is a habit. A habit you developed over time that made a certain way of doing things feel familiar and comfortable. And once something feels comfortable, it becomes a very convenient excuse to avoid the uncomfortable work of changing it. When someone in your life asks you to change something, when a habit of...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/that-is-not-who-you-are</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aba774f7d909740ecc53e46</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2026 14:20:35 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_ba2a6a49053a4797837a842600c91be3~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Crime No One Sees As Such]]></title><description><![CDATA[We all think we know what a crime is. You cause harm to another person. That is the definition. So let me ask you something. If someone causes immense mental and emotional distress to another person, destroys their ability to trust themselves, leaves them neurologically changed, why do we not call that a crime? Emotional pain is not less than physical pain. In many cases it is worse. A broken bone heals on a timeline you can measure. What happens to a brain under sustained emotional abuse...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-crime-no-one-sees-as-such</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aba72dc04753584038fd42d</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2026 14:10:53 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_18047c819da0487c93409acd329a5b21~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Brain Would Rather Be Consistently Miserable Than Unpredictably Safe]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the strangest things human beings do is return to people, relationships, habits, and environments they already know make them miserable. We leave the chaotic relationship and somehow miss it. We meet somebody emotionally available and wonder why there isn't more “chemistry.” We complain about the same dysfunctional workplace for years, then become anxious when a genuinely better opportunity appears. We get sober, leave the crisis behind, or finally establish some stability and discover...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-brain-would-rather-be-consistently-miserable-than-unpredictably-safe</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6ab6cdea26fe68309c0622d5</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 25 Sep 2026 19:41:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_8957b944b3a94896bf42512287e0e94b~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fat Is Not Beautiful]]></title><description><![CDATA[This is what fat looks like inside your body. Not on the outside. Inside. That yellow mass is visceral fat wrapping around your organs, compressing them, suffocating them. Keep that image in mind while you read this. There is a trend, particularly in the United States, where carrying significant excess weight has been rebranded as a personality trait and a civil rights issue. "Fat is beautiful." "Don't you dare comment on my body." And if you say anything factual about obesity you are...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/fat-is-not-beautiful</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6ab6cc034366d8381f2b78bd</guid><category><![CDATA[Physical Health]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 25 Sep 2026 19:36:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_328a8be43a764b64bb101f627cc65f4a~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_526,h_503,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Married Women Live Less]]></title><description><![CDATA[There is a statistic that rarely makes it onto a billboard, yet it appears consistently across decades of published research. Single women live longer and report higher levels of happiness than married women. Married men, on the other hand, live longer and are significantly healthier and happier than single men. The data is not new, it is not fringe, and it does not operate on feelings. It simply reflects a pattern that too many people find uncomfortable to discuss. Before addressing what the...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/married-women-live-less</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6ab120b7e507630d81910cb6</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2026 12:27:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_6fcdaa19b6834b3ea46b165bf4f501ac~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The True Story Behind Beauty And The Beast]]></title><description><![CDATA[Beauty and The Beast is not just a beautiful fairy-tale. There is a real story behind it. In 1537 in Tenerife, in the Canary Islands, a boy was born covered head to toe in thick hair. His name was Pedro Gonzalez, and he had an extremely rare genetic condition called hypertrichosis, sometimes called Werewolf Syndrome. Fewer than 50 cases have ever been documented worldwide since the Middle Ages. As a child he was kidnapped, chained, and brought to the court of King Henry II of France as a...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-true-story-behind-beauty-and-the-beast</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6ab118e4913a2cc022f73ffd</guid><category><![CDATA[Physical Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2026 11:49:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_e903177196494ba38b6a347b62114917~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[It's Not What You Eat, It's How You Cook It]]></title><description><![CDATA[We spend so much time talking about what to eat that we sometimes forget something fascinating: the exact same food can deliver nutrients differently depending on what you do to it before it reaches your mouth. Sometimes cooking helps. Sometimes raw is better. Sometimes chopping matters. Sometimes adding another food changes absorption dramatically. Your kitchen is basically a tiny chemistry lab, except nobody is wearing goggles and somebody is looking for the salt. Take tomatoes. Lycopene is...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/it-s-not-what-you-eat-it-s-how-you-cook-it</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aad26fde6b2a0bb9814178a</guid><category><![CDATA[Physical Health]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 18 Sep 2026 11:59:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_1bf58f9eee3c4e2a9da6f543e3736081~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Your Partner’s Feelings Aren’t an Argument You’re Supposed to Win]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the most destructive communication mistakes in relationships happens when someone tells their partner how they are experiencing something, and instead of trying to understand that experience, the other person begins explaining why they shouldn’t feel that way. “I don’t feel important to you anymore.” How can you say that? I spend all my free time with you. “I felt disrespected by what happened.” "That’s not what happened. You misunderstood me." “I don’t feel wanted.” "We just had sex...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/your-partner-s-feelings-aren-t-an-argument-you-re-supposed-to-win</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aad217ef3e4149ddd0f177e</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 18 Sep 2026 11:37:56 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_98d1ea0e6c2249cfa834eb13cb6ce7d1~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_526,h_526,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Miscarriages Might Be Not What You Think They Are]]></title><description><![CDATA[Something I want women who have gone through miscarriage to read today, because most of them have never been told this. When a woman miscarries, especially more than once, the conversation almost always goes the same way. Was she too stressed? Did she push herself too hard? Did she eat the wrong thing, sleep wrong, work too much? The assumption is immediate and it almost always lands on her. She carries not just the loss but the quiet accusation that her body failed, or worse, that she did...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/miscarriages-might-be-not-what-you-think-they-are</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aa81c3756bdb8d628ca04f5</guid><category><![CDATA[Physical Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2026 16:16:02 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_759796670f8140d09c20b61c38ff50d1~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angelica Rose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Can Understand Your Childhood Perfectly and Still Keep Living It]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the strangest traps in personal growth is becoming extraordinarily good at explaining yourself while remaining almost completely unchanged. You know why criticism hits you so hard. You understand why emotionally unavailable people attract you. You can trace your people-pleasing back to a volatile parent, your perfectionism to conditional approval, your fear of abandonment to an unstable childhood, and your compulsive independence to learning very early that needing people was...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/you-can-understand-your-childhood-perfectly-and-still-keep-living-it</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6aa818f4abcfc8d624a32b4f</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2026 16:03:48 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_a64ad9a144104cf9a3d71ec3a343691b~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[How a Victim Mentality Quietly Damages Relationships]]></title><description><![CDATA[A victim mentality does not always look dramatic. In relationships, it often looks subtle, reasonable, and even justified on the surface. It sounds like always being wronged. Always being misunderstood. Always being the one who cares more. Always feeling attacked when concerns are raised. When someone is stuck in a victim mindset, accountability feels threatening. Any feedback feels like blame. Any request for change feels like criticism. Instead of curiosity, defensiveness takes over....]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/how-a-victim-mentality-quietly-damages-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b2ab144c7bef1d02b33cb</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:40:56 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_53712f42105144dc9c530d88bced5f12~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_763,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Real Reason the Chase Feels Better Than the Relationship]]></title><description><![CDATA[Many people enter relationships feeling intense excitement, attraction, and obsession. The texts are constant. The chemistry feels electric. Everything feels new and alive. Then something confusing happens. Once the relationship becomes secure, interest fades. Boredom sets in. Desire drops. And they start wondering if they chose the wrong person. This pattern is not always about compatibility. Often, it is about dopamine. Dopamine is the brain’s reward and pursuit chemical. It drives...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-real-reason-the-chase-feels-better-than-the-relationship</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b278f418318a8f7def76b</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:26:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_0c4a319805b7443ca7f5628622cef089~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_996,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[AI Girlfriends and Boyfriends Say More About Our Loneliness Than Our Technology]]></title><description><![CDATA[The rise of AI girlfriends and boyfriends is not really about technology. It is about emotional safety. More people are choosing artificial relationships not because they prefer machines, but because real relationships feel overwhelming. Real connection requires vulnerability. It requires emotional risk. It requires being misunderstood sometimes, disappointing someone, or sitting in discomfort instead of clicking away. AI never challenges you. It never needs repair. It never asks you to grow....]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/ai-girlfriends-and-boyfriends-say-more-about-our-loneliness-than-our-technology</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b262c8d10dcf6288e1bc0</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:20:18 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_2b6d2d471c8044afa556e384f22f2217~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Don’t Know Your Partner… Not Even Close]]></title><description><![CDATA[People love to say, “I really know them,” “We’ve been together a year,” and “Nothing surprises me anymore.” That’s comforting. It’s also not true. Because here’s the reality. You don’t fully know another human being in a year, or two, or five. Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because of how complex people actually are. Your partner isn’t a fixed person. They’re a moving system. Their thoughts change, their emotional patterns evolve, their stress responses shift, and their needs...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/you-don-t-know-your-partner-not-even-close</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b24e344c7bef1d02b26f6</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:14:57 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_0fa3cac087a048c1b2e9b37fa9112b6d~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_630,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Right Person Won’t Constantly Confuse You. The Wrong One Will Keep You Guessing Just Enough to Stay Attached.]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the biggest lies modern dating culture has normalized is the idea that confusion equals chemistry. People will call it “intensity.” They will call it “passion.” They will call it “the spark.” But very often what they are actually describing is emotional inconsistency activating the nervous system. Because healthy connection usually does not feel like constantly decoding mixed signals. It does not feel like wondering where you stand every other day. It does not feel like emotional...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-right-person-won-t-constantly-confuse-you-the-wrong-one-will-keep-you-guessing-just-enough-to-s</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b23808d10dcf6288e15c6</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:11:24 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_b0d7712646154d10bfaa0bcb060918c8~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Person You Marry Will Either Heal You… or Slowly Destroy You]]></title><description><![CDATA[People spend years obsessing over careers, money, status, investments, where to live, what degree to pursue, what house to buy, while casually treating one of the single most consequential decisions of their entire existence like it is based on chemistry, convenience, attraction, timing, or whether someone gives them butterflies for a few months. Meanwhile, the person you choose will quite literally shape the structure of your daily emotional reality for decades. Your spouse or long term...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-person-you-marry-will-either-heal-you-or-slowly-destroy-you</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b22438d10dcf6288e12d9</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:04:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_9b3069c5a08b4f15a8ceb705cf77b677~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[They Said ‘We Can Still Be Friends’… But That’s Not What They Meant]]></title><description><![CDATA[When someone says, “we can still be friends,” it sounds mature. It sounds respectful, even caring. On the surface, it feels like a way to soften the blow, like they are trying to preserve something meaningful instead of walking away completely. But in a lot of cases, that is not what is actually happening. What they are really saying is that they still want access to you, just without the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship. They want the emotional familiarity, the...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/they-said-we-can-still-be-friends-but-that-s-not-what-they-meant</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b21578d10dcf6288e10d0</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 21:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_27a8f3f1fae64c4d8f3589d4ceca7557~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Myth of Closure in Relationships]]></title><description><![CDATA[Closure has become one of the most popular ideas in modern relationship culture. Movies promise it. Social media encourages it. We are told that if we just get the right conversation, the right apology, or the right explanation, we will finally feel at peace. But real life rarely works that way. Closure is often treated like something another person gives us. As if healing depends on them saying the perfect words or taking responsibility in the way we hoped. The problem is that many...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/the-myth-of-closure-in-relationships</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b208f8d10dcf6288e0eee</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 20:55:59 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/919687_e57752080b344d849877e013611fe9b3~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_777,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Emotional safety predicts long term relationship success]]></title><description><![CDATA[Most people think relationships last because two people have similar goals, good communication skills, or compatible personalities. Those things help, but they are not the foundation. The real predictor is emotional safety. Emotional safety is the feeling that you can show up as you are without fear of being dismissed or judged. It is being able to speak honestly and know the other person will not punish you for being vulnerable. It is the confidence that even during conflict the connection...]]></description><link>https://www.afriendlyshoulder.com/post/emotional-safety-predicts-long-term-relationship-success</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a2b1f0016a9a8229e029d08</guid><category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 20:48:24 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7b2163_f8aea21662f44ec6af437cf242acc66e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_683,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Clint Stankiewicz</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>